An utterance of appreciation. A grand gesture. A thank-you very much. CruxCrusader is pleased to début a new series paying respect to the music, movies, books and art that have shaped our writers. Each contributor was asked to pick six within a class of their choice, to be released over in time. After all, everyone has favourites; why not talk about them? Culture is for sharing, not for hoarding, right? We’re glad that you agree! And as such, we hope that you enjoy!

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The Five Stairsteps – O-o-h Child

Music has always been the one thing that could keep me sane during the long walk of life. Of course, music matters the most when you’re just having one of those days. This song, which I’m sure you’ve heard before — somewhere, whether consciously or subconsciously — is perhaps the only song that has consistently reminded me not to sweat the small stuff, to not let certain things linger on my mind and get me down. Lyrically, The Five Stairsteps’ ‘O-o-h Child’ is inspiring and has always given me much-needed optimism when life throws a curveball. I mean, it’s put pretty blatantly out there with a simple message: things are going to get easier. What more reassurance do you need?

I can’t even tell you the first time I heard this song; it has simply been there when I needed it since I can remember. And even though the bulk of my life’s inconveniences have revolved around girl troubles (I know, right?), I can honestly say that this song has worked wonders in guiding me through – not to say that girl problems were my only problems, but you know.

The instrumental itself makes me incredibly happy, but throw in soulful vocals and an uplifting message and you have yourself a classic. If you don’t believe me, next time you’re feeling down, find a nice pair of headphones and blast this song into your eardrums as loud as you can without getting a headache. You’ll know exactly what I mean.

The Five Stairsteps’ ‘O-o-h Child’

Mobb Deep – Shook Ones Pt. 2

I can confidently say that this song is how I got into hip-hop, and ultimately, turning me on to the East Coast hip-hop scene at a young age. Mobb Deep’s ‘Shook Ones, Pt. II’ is essential hip-hop as I’ve always envisioned it: raw beats, raw lyrics and raw flow from Prodigy and Havoc, who were just entering their adulthood when this song first struck the airwaves. Ahead of its time, such strong production and lyrics built give grimy visuals of the trife life, allowing Mobb Deep to leave a real big footprint in the rap game with the release of their 1995 album The Infamous.

‘Shook Ones, Pt. II’ depicts the not-so-lavish lifestyle of the young, poor and dangerous in New York’s notorious Queensbridge projects. And even though I’ve never really able to relate to the songs lyrics (for obvious socio-economic reasons), the track has managed to stick with me through the years as one of my all-time favourites. Its sound is almost addicting to me, and, when I hear the drums and bass kick in the first few seconds, I can’t help but say to those around me, “Oh shit! This here’s a classic.”

Mobb Deep’s ‘Shook Ones, Pt. II’

If you’ve read about all this already and you still haven’t seen it, stop what you’re doing, get off your ass, and go see the movie!

OK, hyperbole aside. In addition to being a fine piece of craftsmanship by Fincher and Co., The Social Network is also a fascinating character study that traces the origin of that annoyingly addictive, and amazingly — “I can’t believe my grandma has it now!” — popular website: The Facebook.

Jesse Eisenberg — who unquestionably deserves an Oscar nod — plays website co-founder, wiz-kid and supreme smart-ass Mark Zuckerberg. Like him or not, Eisenberg’s Zuckerberg is a personality. Too smart to be angsty, yet not stylish enough to be punk rock, the film portrays him as an intensely motivated genius who saw his moment for greatness and did it his way. Zuckerberg is glorified throughout the film for his youth, his wealth, and most importantly, his ambivalence towards his wealth.

Yet, this isn’t just a film about Zuckerberg. Andrew Garfield (a.k.a. the next Spider-man), plays Eduardo Saverin, the other co-founder of Facebook, and Zuckerberg’s (former) best, and quite possibly only, friend. Seeing as their website is slightly obsessed with the concept of friendship, not surprisingly, the movie tends to play this theme up a fair deal. Much of the film’s conflict finds root in the splintering relationship between Facebook’s brains, Zuckerberg, and its money, Saverin.

Despite all the lying, back-stabbing and law-suits, the film ends with a tone of optimism. As if, Facebook isn’t as scary, intrusive and evil as we all thought. As if, technological advances didn’t occur solely to muddy our waters and fog up our ozone. As if, just maybe, computers can be our friends, or at least help us connect with them.

RATING: After a realization that film’s are not numbers, stars or thumbs, I’ve decided to no longer use ratings. They’re trite.

An utterance of appreciation. A grand gesture. A thank-you very much. CruxCrusader is pleased to début a new series paying respect to the music, movies, books and art that have shaped our writers. Each contributor was asked to pick six within a class of their choice, to be released over in time. After all, everyone has favourites; why not talk about them? Culture is for sharing, not for hoarding, right? We’re glad that you agree! And as such, we hope that you enjoy!

—

Sufjan Stevens’ Illinois

Suff-jun. Suff-jan. Soof-yun. Soof-yan. I struggled for a long time with the pronunciation of that one. Even embarrassed myself on radio once or twice. Diction be damned: this one — my opinion not withstanding — is a modern classic. By the way, it’s Soof-yan.

(Also known as) Come On, Feel the Illinoise! changed my life upon its release in 2005, during my first year of university. My taste in music was expanding, thanks in large to residence life and college radio. As a home-recording obsessive, discovering Stevens’ grand orchestration — created largely in the closets and hallways of his apartment and a studio in Queens — blew my whole mind; how could one man create something so crisp and realized with minimal professional backing? Cool.

Running 22 tracks — the longest of which is 07:03, the shortest being 00:07 — the second movement in Stevens’ now fabled false-promise to deliver one record for each American state is an opus dedicated to the great state of Illinois. Songs cover such subjects architectural structures, jazz, Superman and John Wayne Gacy (if e’er a song could bring a tear to mine eye), sporting short-essay length titles.

Given the artist’s method, the resulting musicality is stunningly robust and profound. It’s rumored that Stevens played over 20 different instruments himself. A close listening reveals that most of the tracks have at least 10 involved. The songs were mapped out piece by piece into an 8-track mixer, which Stevens then transferred and mixed two tracks at a time through headphones. For those unfamiliar with studio jargon, simply appreciate that attaining the album’s impressive synchronicity and harmony through this process would have been a painstakingly tedious labour of love. One that yielded serious results. With this in mind, you’ll understand why my brains hit the wall. For the first time, I appreciated the new indie revolution. It dawned on me that with endless imagination, ambition, patience and the determination to make something from nothing, possibility is an endless canvas available to anyone with microphones, musical friends and a quiet bedroom.

A Tribe Called Quest’s The Love Movement

I was six when one of the greatest groups to ever do it released The Low End Theory. At eight, I wasn’t old enough to honestly say that Midnight Marauders is a heavyweight from my early hip-hop habitat. But I’m glad I was there for A Tribe Called Quest’s highly underrated finale. Admittedly, my entire love of hip-hop culture stems from this album and the influence it had on my subsequent exploration of the genre.

My birthday, late 1998. I stood before the new release rack in Sam-the-Record-Man (remember that place?), aunt issued gift-card in hand, my mother firmly stationed over my shoulder. What Are You Going to Get? I loved rap, but from a distance; frankly, explicit lyrics were a major hassle at the tender age of 12. The slick white cover drew my eye, void of any parental advisory sticker. A clean get-away. I was familiar with the group name, but none of their music — but that was back when the name was all I cared about. This is the only CD I have ever owned that I wore out. Literally. The physical disc is now transparent in parts.

Endless respect for The Ummah. Beats stick with me; I’m brutal with lyrics, but can pick out samples like an interior decorator. I’m proud to say — and in hindsight, consider myself a very cool pre-teen — that J Dilla was on my radar before Slum Village released Fantastic, Vol. 2. Long before Donuts. Even longer before saying ‘Jay Dee changed my life’ was en vogue. I’m not bragging or trying to make myself sound cooler than I tragically am not; I’m simply acknowledging how fortunate I was to watch Dilla’s career evolve in real-time from the beginning. ‘Find A Way’, ‘Give Me’, ‘Steppin’ It Up’, ‘Da Booty’ and ‘The Love’ are classic cuts — in both beat and lyricism — in my mind and I still consider The Ummah to be in the top five production soullectives of all time.

Fine, it was only OK. May brought us the decent — for a sequel — Iron Man 2. June had us all falling back in love with Woody and the gang — some people even cried (not naming names). Then June rolled along, the month Inception dominated the box office, confusing a lot of people along the way. Finally August, when Scott Pilgrim showed that Michael Cera can still play Michael Cera, but be cool doing so.

We near the end of September. Much like it’s colder relative, January, historically speaking, September is a pretty shitty month for the cinema — the unsatisfying milieu between Hollywood blockbusters and the award season contenders. So, to kill the early autumn blues, I’d like to share three flicks you may or may not have seen, complete with accompanying mini-reviews. Hopefully these will help you boycott what was undoubtedly a pretty mediocre month at the movies.

The Good, The Bad and the Ugly (a classic, 9/10)

A few days ago, atop a garbage heap on the side of the road, inside the case for season four of the trailer park boys, I found a DVD of Sergio Leon’s classic western, The Good, The Bad and The Ugly. The picaresque plot follows Blondie (Eastwood), Angel Eyes and Tuco – the good, the bad and the ugly, respectively – three cowboys fighting over two hundred thousand dollars worth of gold coins buried in a desert graveyard.

For me, one of the more interesting plot devices in this film is the civil war, consistently lingering in the background. As the gruesome threesome scheme, betray, kill and act out of pure self-interest, soldiers from both the North and South fall fighting for house and home.

The epitome of the once great Western genre, “The Good, The Bad and The Ugly” is an engaging classic with no best-before date. Enjoy the iconic score, cowboy treachery, and of course, Eastwood’s five o’clock shadow.

Funny HAHA (7/10, lol)

A champion within the more-or-less defunct mumblecore movement – or what I like to call Hipsterploitation flicks – Funny HAHA is a low-fi, hyper-realistic story about Marnie, a cute twenty-something struggling through a serious case of post-graduate wasteland.

The film leads us through Marnie’s life as she kisses a lot of boys, struggles with the ensuing awkwardness and drinks beer. It doesn’t sound like much, but Funny HAHA is an indie film in its purest form. As such, the 16mm documentary style cinematography and cast of no-names recalls independent filmmaking’s early 90s roots — think Richard Linklater’s Slacker.

My suggestion: throw this one on some morning when you’re hungover and asking, “what the hell am I doing with my life?”

At the very least, it’ll assure you that you aren’t the only one wondering.

An Education (a horizon broadening 8/10)

Without question one of my favorite movies of last year, An Education is a bildungsroman about a girl and her first love. It’s a story as old as Jane Eyre, and the film doesn’t shy away from this fact with Bronte’s classic novel serving as just one of many literary allusions. After all, Jenny’s chief ambition from the movie’s outset is to read English at Oxford.

Despite the film’s familiar plot, it’s infused with enough English wit and charm to lend it new life. Furthermore, An Education is a revealing portrayal of 1960s London during a time where sexual norms were relaxing, even if class tensions were not.

The film’s got some legit credentials. It was a darling for both last year’s award season and critics’ top ten lists. Carey Mulligan — who probably should have won ‘Best Actress’ at last year’s Oscars — is both adorable and amazing in her lead role. Likewise, her beaux, Peter Sarsgaard, is fantastic — likable, charming and a bit smarmy. Finally, the screenplay was adapted by Nick Hornby – yeah that’s right, the guy who wrote the novels High Fidelity and About A Boy.

The other night, I sat down to kill some brain cells by watching primetime American television.   It had been a long day, and I didn’t have the energy to carry out anything worthwhile in the next hour, however, it wasn’t quite time for sleep.  It is exactly why 7-10pm is considered primetime. What did I happen upon as I mindlessly flicked through channels?  Shaq VS: a show where Shaquille O’Neill takes on a seemingly random assortment of people, challenging them to their own game, usually with a heck of a lot of caveats that make sure Shaq doesn’t fail brutally at each challenge

ABC’s show has been haphazardly thrown together; there are nameless bland hosts, overdone props and shoddy camera work, all of which are topped off by bad editing. This being said, I was amused. In a big way. Not only that, but I found myself actively watching the show,  talking about it, laughing and participating in the moment. Surprisingly, it didn’t dull my senses like a strong cold medicine, as I was expecting it too.

This has got me thinking: why did this terrible show, a show that I would normally scoff at as I opened a copy of A Picture of Dorian Grey capture my attention and tickle my funny bone?  Why did it engage me more than our most recent election?

Personality. The only real and worthwhile part of the show is the only part that matters, and that is that Shaq is silly.  He’s 100 feet tall and has no qualms about wearing a Hawaiian shirt/short combo, declaring himself to be a “putt-putt master” or shovelling hotdogs down his throat. And for some reason this is amusing. 2000 years from now, historians and anthropologists everywhere are going to be very, very confused.

The season finale is on tonight (finale? I didn’t even realize it existed until last week!).  And yes, I plan on watching Shaq vs. The Biebs in a dance off – my money is on Shaq, and I’m not ashamed.

This pretty much says everything you need to know about the film: that it squirts endless machismo from its dick-hole.

Essentially, the movie follows a group of mercenaries — including Stallone, Terry Crews, Jet Li, Randy Couture, Jason Statham and Dolph Lundgren — as they wage war on a small South American island, its oppressive dictator and the American drug lord who’s exploiting him. As a team, they seem reliant on one another’s ability to do death-defying stunts, of which there is certainly no shortage. Some goes for explosions. And wow-inducing gore. And machine gun mastery.

The cast is composed of pretty much every tough guy celebrity ever. Nevertheless, these boys know how to kick –ass, keeping the audience entertained with one-liners when they aren’t, well, kicking ass. Unfortunately, some of the characters fall short of even being two-dimensional. Such as Li, who despite his top billing, serves only as the brunt of one continuous short joke. And, surprise, surprise, Couture can’t act.

Without question, there are times during The Expendables where, if you stop to think, things aren’t very believable. Fortunately, the film moves fast enough not to let you think too much. And when you do, its got enough of a sense of humour to assure the audience that they are laughing a long with it, and not at it.

Under no pretense is it a thinker. It’s not ‘deep’, and I highly doubt it’ll make any critic’s year-end Top Ten list. However, The Expendables does have a lot to offer: a soundtrack reminiscent of your favorite classic rock station, a climax that makes The Wild Bunch look like a game of war played by 9 year boys, and plenty of homosocial bromancing. If any of that sounds appealing to you, than you’ll enjoy The Expendables for what it is: a fucking good time.

Rating: an explosive 7/10

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World is one of the only movies I  was anticipating this summer. That’s not to say I wasn’t aware of what was coming out; rather, that this has honestly been one of the worst years for big-budget films in as long as I can remember.

I joined the other fan boys on opening night; kids who had read the comics and knew exactly what they were in for: a light and poppy film overflowing with video game and comic book references. But then again, what more could a pop culture geek ask for? It was clear that director Edgar Wright knew he was dealing with sacred subject matter. Unlike so many comic-to-movie directors, Wright understood his audience and how to satisfy them — with homage. Through gags from the comic itself (like pop-up text boxes identifying the characters and their ‘ratings’) or original spins (like hipster nightclubs having passwords like “ugh” and “whatever”), Wright commanded both the audience’s attention and respect. The film is as stylistic as the comic which is definitely one of its best traits.

For the most part, the movie stays true to its source. Scott Pilgrim is a 20-something with pretty much nothing going for him in life. He is a self-absorbed jerk who, somehow, is insanely loveable (due likely to the fact that we are seeing things through his eyes). Toronto born Michael Cera does a terrific job with the character. It was quite refreshing to see him as something other than a coming-of-age virgin, taking a turn here as an oblivious womanizer. It’s one of his best performances since Superbad – even if he never realizes that he’s not the awesome person he thinks he is.

Things go soft with the other lead character, Ramona Flowers. Played by Mary Elizabeth Winstead — who looks absolutely perfect for the role — the character has no depth. In the comic, we learn through Ramona that the defeating of the evil ex’s is a metaphor for how we carry the wounds of past relationships through to our next ones, with our new partners having to ‘defeat’ our demons. Wright’s adaption doesn’t address this at all; we never understand why these ex’s torment Ramona.  Instead, Ramona is nothing more than a trophy for Scott. In this way, the film lacks the character transformation that Bryan Lee O’Malley’s comic handles exquisitely. As for the other actors, apart from Jason Schwartzman, they never quite live up to their potential. It would’ve been nice to see a bit more from Aubrey Plaza and Anna Kendrick.

Some problems may be attributed to the fact that the movie began production long before the comic itself was completed (the sixth and last issue of O’Malley’s series came out one month before the release of the film). Maybe if the studio execs had waited until the comic was completed, the movie could have been a great up-and-comer comedy, maybe even dethroning the Judd Apatow gang. As it stands, the film lacks a level of emotion that could’ve made it truly great. Regardless, it’s one of the funniest and most original movies to come out this summer, and is not to be missed.

Rating: an inspired 7.5/10

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Some stray thoughts:

1. The use of the Broken Social Scene’s song ‘Anthems for a 17 Year Old Girl’ during Knives’ heartbreak scene was genius. That’s the kind of strength a film has over a comic book.

2. During the opening trailers the audience burst into laughter during the trailer for the new M. Night Shyamalan movie Devil. It’s nice to know that the world is sharpening up to Hollywood trash.

3. Any movie that has a fight scene between Michael Cera and Jason Schwartzman is just too good to pass up.

The mixtape features G.O.O.D. Music artists John Legend, Consequence, GLC, Big Sean, Mr. Hudson and Kid Cudi along a couple of others, including an appearance by the Roots and a number of skits with Fonzworth Bentley and Amber Rose. In total, there are 30 tracks in the tape. Check it out after the break.

Good Ass Mixtape

When a gutsy proposal prompts a promising move from the 6th to 7th floor of his company, analyst Tim (Paul Rudd) is invited by his superiors to prove his worth at a monthly dinner. A sort of hazing ceremony, it’s simple: each person brings an ‘extraordinary individual’ (in this case, a complete loser) for the group to enjoy, and, at the end of the night, one person walks away the winner. By chance, Tim meets Barry (Steve Carell), an amateur taxidermist with a penchant for Yogi Berra-ish commentary and bizarre artistic endeavors. Complicated by Tim’s girlfriend Julie (Stephanie Szostak), the ‘charismatic’ artist Keiran (Jermaine Clement) and Barry’s dickie sporting boss Therman (Zach Galifianakis), the two embark on a journey wrought with complication and hilarious coincidence, climaxing in what is easily the funniest dinner scene since 2005′s Wedding Crashers.

Admittedly, the movie is no comedic masterpiece. Many of the characters are flat and uninspired. Rudd does very little to draw audience empathy, while Szostak serves only as eye-candy with a sexy accent. While enjoyable, Jermaine, as always, is Jermaine: making diamonds from carbon with ridiculous theories and ingenuous delivery. Still, for the most part, the normal, real-world characters are completely boring. But maybe that’s just life.

Steve Carell, however, delivers one of his greatest comedic performances by developing a character whose every flaw makes him more lovable. Barry matches the good-natured and awkward geekiness of Andy Stitzer in The 40 Year Old Virgin with the ironic oblivion of Michael Scott on The Office – with a healthy dose of Lloyd Christmas. It’s impossible not to sympathize with him given his brunt-of-the-joke purpose, but, as is the case with great situational comedy, you don’t ever want the unfortunate events to stop. Likewise, Therman is a fresh turn for Galifianakis; he brings a level of intensity to his ‘idiot’ that, strangely enough, makes him both a hated villain and laughable favourite at the same time. A script full of face-palming moments doesn’t hurt either actor; many scenes — particularly those in which Therman and Barry face-off — are among their best work, bound to be quoted to death with time. It is remarkable how stone-faced both actors remain throughout their completely ridiculous sequences (the outtakes on the DVD release will undoubtedly be worth the purchase alone).

What may have seemed lame in the trailer gains weight within the context of the film and its characters. The slapstick is strong and clever, while every gag furthers anticipation for the dinner. While Dinner for Schmucks definitely doesn’t dine along The 40 Year Old Virgin or The Hangover in terms of complete quality, it is a pleasantly surprising comedy that is definitely good for a laugh.

Rating: a slightly above average 6/10

The following video does not require much explanation. The Roots — one of the last hip-hop conglomerates with a hand close to Native Tongue, soul and funk pulses. John Legend — one of the most charismatic male vocalists of the 21st century. With every preview offered, the September 21st release date of their collaborative outing, Wake Up, can’t come soon enough. Check out the live studio performance of Baby Huey’s ‘Hard Times’, just one of the many classic soul covers that compose what is sure to be one of the year’s most exciting records.